Monday, June 13, 2011


When I was really sick consecutively for the past few weeks, I was humbled down a lot when I really don't have the will to do or eat anything but just wish to get well really soon. Although that wasn't the worst I felt but, it was certainly the most rest I needed to regain a clear state of mind, body & soul. I felt weak on & off with blurry vision now & then. I was just too weak to drive out when the thought of the highway worries me that a 100 kmph car might even hit me. Having that blur vision on & off just fails me.

I finally felt some zest in me during the start of this week. That's when I could smile & feel some happiness again. Regaining back some energy is a total relieve! This sounds terrible but I ain't joking. I just want to feel healthy again. That was the only thing I wished for when I was suffering. A lil bit more to cure & I'll be fine. I do take myself for granted sometimes that I am feeling bad about it. Time to take pride in it now. :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Imaginations are true

My mood now is filled with love for jazz. I'm listening to Norah Jones's Don't Know Why. Olivia Ong is also 1 of my favorite. Joanna Wang is another. And there are so many other jazz musicians that I love. Oldies jazz too. :) I wish the world I'm living now is only surrounded by jazz music.. How peaceful that would be. :)

I think I need another holiday. That wouldn't be hard. I only need to fly to my Great Escape. It is a place that welcomes me anytime. It feels like home now & everyone treats me a part of them too. :)

I wanna walk by the beach, enjoy sipping Malibu while lying on the beach getting a tan, look at the beautiful nature & of course... having a good chat with the person who will be bringing me there. :)

I've been thinking about it. I believe that visualizing it will make it come true 1 day. I was imagining that we could talk & we did! Why did you called us back? With the look from your eyes, I think we do have the same thoughts in mind. My instincts just tells me there's something. It has never failed me. I wanna hear from you again.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


The fine ink on your skin.. I love the vibrant colors. Exceptionally cool.

I visualized some bond & we had half of it. Dayummmmmm for the last! It would be the start of something.. ;) What about June? It will be something! :)

Here's the trick.. Just play the game! :)

Sunday, May 08, 2011

My heart goes out to you..

So much has been flooding my mind & mixing in my heart. Today, I can finally articulate my thoughts & feelings well. After all the setbacks that came time after time, I am already numb. No big deal now. I have nothing to lose. It is just another lesson for me to learn & this shall be the last. I don't know whether it is me or it is just fate but all that has happened has been good to me. I am so much stronger now. Every time when I have braced up, I feel so much stronger to move on & look forward to greater things ahead of me. New & better things always come right after I am able to see the light in life so I don't have to worry about missing out & all the more this is why I should stand up faster! :)

Now I am wondering what's next. It won't be long. ;)

My mom is the greatest gift that I have in life. The best thing that she gave me is Optimism. When I was in school, I always worry unnecessarily. My mom then asked me why am I always worrying over minor things? I said worrying helps because when I worry about it, the negative worries usually doesn't come true! I was so silly. Hahaha... She then told me not to worry so much because sometimes worrying doesn't make things change so why not look forward to a brighter day & I will see the light soon. From that day onwards, my mom was the one who influenced me to be very optimistic in every thing I face in life. 2 or 3 years back, I have been through the saddest moment of my life & it felt like I was being hit by a bus. The heartbreak & pain felt really terrible that I didn't know what to do in life anymore. That bad. 2 weeks was all I took to stand up again. Thank god for a best friend to be by my side. :)

So what I wanna say here is, my mom is the reason I am living my life happily everyday. Seeing how optimistic she is when she gets hurt is really an inspiring thing that made me became like her. Even when I am feeling down, I do feel positiveness in me when I am brooding about something. It is always before someone could console me & lend me a listening ear, I would have consoled myself first & tell myself what should be done whenever shit happens. I am already really numb. Sad to miss it time & time again so this will be the last. I have learnt a lot through all these & the next time shall be something good. :)

Thank you so much, Mom! I love you & cherish you more than you ever know. I love you , Mom!



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

When cure brings much relieve & happiness

It has been almost a month now & I can't believe I actually dragged it for so long! I was so relieved & happy yesterday that I finally went to seek specialist treatment for my ankle injury. I just wanna heal it once & for all & I'll be all good again! I wanna go for white water rafting when I've fully recover! =D It is saddening to see a swollen ankle still after 3 weeks when there's no improvements at all as day passes.

When I reached the hospital, I am glad that I was given prompt care & direction. My panel clinic doctor was so farneee that she didn't state in the referral letter which specialist doctor that she recommends me to seek. Therefore, I was given the choice to choose which doctor I want. Lol...

I like my orthopedic. He gives me a good sense of comfort that I will be fine very soon under his treatment. After the consultation, I was arranged to do a X-Ray to find out if I have broken any of my ankle bones.

Hello Bones! =D

Both X-Rays are images of my right ankle. The image on the right shows the X-Ray done from the top & TA-DAAA... you can see that my ankle is still swollen. I don't know what to do with the X-Ray so perhaps I can frame it up & hang it in my room. Hahaha... My doctor gave me some medicine to consume & a tube of gel base medicine to apply on my ankle. I applied it yesterday night & guess what!! The first thing I did when I opened my eyes today morning was to look at my foot & the swell has subsided so much! I am feeling so positive now for I know that this treatment that I'm seeking is gonna help me get well soon. :)

I shall be obedient & good these 2 weeks of less walking & standing and soon, I'll be able to enjoy running around , jumping & my usual sports againnn! =D Hip Hip.. HURRAYYYY!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Touched by a dream

Today morning, I dreamt...and I was half awake when I was still dreaming. I haven't have a dream like this for so long that's saddening until it touched my heart. I didn't want to wake up from this dream but, I knew I couldn't enjoy that moment for long because it was time for me to wake up.

She is a woman whom I've never seen with my vision but I believe she has touched me with her 2 hands. I stepped into this huge & well furnished hall with grand interior setting. The first thing I saw was posters hanging on the left side of the hall bearing images of the woman. I knew who she is & I miss her very much. When I walked in further into the hall, I saw that woman in person. I was quite astonished! She was just like an usherer who welcomed us into the hall. I don't know why I didn't go to her but I walked straight into the grand hall instead. When I reached the middle, laying there was a statue. My heart softened when I saw it because after 23 years, I finally felt her real presence for the very first time! That was the moment I felt so surreal & I felt like tearing for that's the best way to express how I felt. Someone hit the lever & the statue slowly went down into the ground where it lay. I just couldn't bear to see it go when I only just saw it there a while ago...

I woke up. I sat up on my bed & ponder for a while. I felt sad first thing in the morning when I woke up today... but that feeling didn't spoil my day. I can't regret why I don't get to meet that woman in real life. I am still feeling emotional when I think about it now. And I wonder why did I dreamt of her today. It feels like there was a reason why. The woman that I am now writing about... is my grandmother. I have never met my father's parents. My mom told me stories of her... and it is a sad story. Now when I chat with my mom, once in a while it links to my grandparents when we are talking about my dad. I am happy enough to know that my grandparents got to see me before they pass away. I was just a few months old baby. At least I brought them joy when they carried me in their arms although I didn't know anything at that moment. I'm sad to say that I have never visit their grave for tomb sweeping. There was once where dad, mom, brother & sister went but I couldn't go & I couldn't remember why. I really wish to do my part as a grandchild & I shall go next year.

Dear grandma , this is how much I miss you so... :( My heart is always with you & grandpa wherever you are...

Please bless me with a speedy recovery soon.. That's 1 of my 2 wishes now.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Quando quando quando ~

Hmmm...MmmMmMmm~ sniffs*

My favourite place to chill out on Sundays is here where now I'm at : Coffee Bean Desa Park City. This is a great place to own a home where it has a relaxing lifestyle ambience with lush greeneries, recreational park, neighbourhood shopping, restaurants, cafe & it gives the American home experience. Some of the houses are built without gate & there's a garage for each family unit to park their cars. I wish I can afford to own a good living environment like this in future. :)

The ohhh soooo nice aroma of coffee is setting my mood on a chirpy note! From the glass windows of Coffee Bean, I can see a group of people doing a PR advertising for Rakuzen restaurant. I think they are just doing some project of their own because there was only a videocam & a mike. Don't look like they are from the media. I wonder are the college students living here having some Mass Comm assignment or what. Last Sunday when I was here, I saw a guy who looked like he's 35 in secondary school uniform! I was like WTH?! Hahahahaha...

I am so tempted for something.. something that I long yearn for & I really need to own it now. I just had this sudden urge, so certain today.

Quando quando quando.. is my biggest wish now. I want to run free again & enjoy the freedom of doing the things I love without worries. 2 more days I'm giving it. With more care that I'm giving & the remedy from my friend's grandfather , please be fine by this week!