I finally felt some zest in me during the start of this week. That's when I could smile & feel some happiness again. Regaining back some energy is a total relieve! This sounds terrible but I ain't joking. I just want to feel healthy again. That was the only thing I wished for when I was suffering. A lil bit more to cure & I'll be fine. I do take myself for granted sometimes that I am feeling bad about it. Time to take pride in it now. :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Ughhh...
When I was really sick consecutively for the past few weeks, I was humbled down a lot when I really don't have the will to do or eat anything but just wish to get well really soon. Although that wasn't the worst I felt but, it was certainly the most rest I needed to regain a clear state of mind, body & soul. I felt weak on & off with blurry vision now & then. I was just too weak to drive out when the thought of the highway worries me that a 100 kmph car might even hit me. Having that blur vision on & off just fails me.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Imaginations are true
My mood now is filled with love for jazz. I'm listening to Norah Jones's Don't Know Why. Olivia Ong is also 1 of my favorite. Joanna Wang is another. And there are so many other jazz musicians that I love. Oldies jazz too. :) I wish the world I'm living now is only surrounded by jazz music.. How peaceful that would be. :)
I think I need another holiday. That wouldn't be hard. I only need to fly to my Great Escape. It is a place that welcomes me anytime. It feels like home now & everyone treats me a part of them too. :)
I wanna walk by the beach, enjoy sipping Malibu while lying on the beach getting a tan, look at the beautiful nature & of course... having a good chat with the person who will be bringing me there. :)
I've been thinking about it. I believe that visualizing it will make it come true 1 day. I was imagining that we could talk & we did! Why did you called us back? With the look from your eyes, I think we do have the same thoughts in mind. My instincts just tells me there's something. It has never failed me. I wanna hear from you again.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Fated
The fine ink on your skin.. I love the vibrant colors. Exceptionally cool.
I visualized some bond & we had half of it. Dayummmmmm for the last! It would be the start of something.. ;) What about June? It will be something! :)
Here's the trick.. Just play the game! :)
I visualized some bond & we had half of it. Dayummmmmm for the last! It would be the start of something.. ;) What about June? It will be something! :)
Here's the trick.. Just play the game! :)
Sunday, May 08, 2011
My heart goes out to you..
So much has been flooding my mind & mixing in my heart. Today, I can finally articulate my thoughts & feelings well. After all the setbacks that came time after time, I am already numb. No big deal now. I have nothing to lose. It is just another lesson for me to learn & this shall be the last. I don't know whether it is me or it is just fate but all that has happened has been good to me. I am so much stronger now. Every time when I have braced up, I feel so much stronger to move on & look forward to greater things ahead of me. New & better things always come right after I am able to see the light in life so I don't have to worry about missing out & all the more this is why I should stand up faster! :)
Now I am wondering what's next. It won't be long. ;)
My mom is the greatest gift that I have in life. The best thing that she gave me is Optimism. When I was in school, I always worry unnecessarily. My mom then asked me why am I always worrying over minor things? I said worrying helps because when I worry about it, the negative worries usually doesn't come true! I was so silly. Hahaha... She then told me not to worry so much because sometimes worrying doesn't make things change so why not look forward to a brighter day & I will see the light soon. From that day onwards, my mom was the one who influenced me to be very optimistic in every thing I face in life. 2 or 3 years back, I have been through the saddest moment of my life & it felt like I was being hit by a bus. The heartbreak & pain felt really terrible that I didn't know what to do in life anymore. That bad. 2 weeks was all I took to stand up again. Thank god for a best friend to be by my side. :)
So what I wanna say here is, my mom is the reason I am living my life happily everyday. Seeing how optimistic she is when she gets hurt is really an inspiring thing that made me became like her. Even when I am feeling down, I do feel positiveness in me when I am brooding about something. It is always before someone could console me & lend me a listening ear, I would have consoled myself first & tell myself what should be done whenever shit happens. I am already really numb. Sad to miss it time & time again so this will be the last. I have learnt a lot through all these & the next time shall be something good. :)
Thank you so much, Mom! I love you & cherish you more than you ever know. I love you , Mom!
Love,
Nina
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
When cure brings much relieve & happiness
It has been almost a month now & I can't believe I actually dragged it for so long! I was so relieved & happy yesterday that I finally went to seek specialist treatment for my ankle injury. I just wanna heal it once & for all & I'll be all good again! I wanna go for white water rafting when I've fully recover! =D It is saddening to see a swollen ankle still after 3 weeks when there's no improvements at all as day passes.
When I reached the hospital, I am glad that I was given prompt care & direction. My panel clinic doctor was so farneee that she didn't state in the referral letter which specialist doctor that she recommends me to seek. Therefore, I was given the choice to choose which doctor I want. Lol...
I like my orthopedic. He gives me a good sense of comfort that I will be fine very soon under his treatment. After the consultation, I was arranged to do a X-Ray to find out if I have broken any of my ankle bones.
Both X-Rays are images of my right ankle. The image on the right shows the X-Ray done from the top & TA-DAAA... you can see that my ankle is still swollen. I don't know what to do with the X-Ray so perhaps I can frame it up & hang it in my room. Hahaha... My doctor gave me some medicine to consume & a tube of gel base medicine to apply on my ankle. I applied it yesterday night & guess what!! The first thing I did when I opened my eyes today morning was to look at my foot & the swell has subsided so much! I am feeling so positive now for I know that this treatment that I'm seeking is gonna help me get well soon. :)
I shall be obedient & good these 2 weeks of less walking & standing and soon, I'll be able to enjoy running around , jumping & my usual sports againnn! =D Hip Hip.. HURRAYYYY!
When I reached the hospital, I am glad that I was given prompt care & direction. My panel clinic doctor was so farneee that she didn't state in the referral letter which specialist doctor that she recommends me to seek. Therefore, I was given the choice to choose which doctor I want. Lol...
I like my orthopedic. He gives me a good sense of comfort that I will be fine very soon under his treatment. After the consultation, I was arranged to do a X-Ray to find out if I have broken any of my ankle bones.
Hello Bones! =D
Both X-Rays are images of my right ankle. The image on the right shows the X-Ray done from the top & TA-DAAA... you can see that my ankle is still swollen. I don't know what to do with the X-Ray so perhaps I can frame it up & hang it in my room. Hahaha... My doctor gave me some medicine to consume & a tube of gel base medicine to apply on my ankle. I applied it yesterday night & guess what!! The first thing I did when I opened my eyes today morning was to look at my foot & the swell has subsided so much! I am feeling so positive now for I know that this treatment that I'm seeking is gonna help me get well soon. :)
I shall be obedient & good these 2 weeks of less walking & standing and soon, I'll be able to enjoy running around , jumping & my usual sports againnn! =D Hip Hip.. HURRAYYYY!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Touched by a dream
Today morning, I dreamt...and I was half awake when I was still dreaming. I haven't have a dream like this for so long that's saddening until it touched my heart. I didn't want to wake up from this dream but, I knew I couldn't enjoy that moment for long because it was time for me to wake up.
She is a woman whom I've never seen with my vision but I believe she has touched me with her 2 hands. I stepped into this huge & well furnished hall with grand interior setting. The first thing I saw was posters hanging on the left side of the hall bearing images of the woman. I knew who she is & I miss her very much. When I walked in further into the hall, I saw that woman in person. I was quite astonished! She was just like an usherer who welcomed us into the hall. I don't know why I didn't go to her but I walked straight into the grand hall instead. When I reached the middle, laying there was a statue. My heart softened when I saw it because after 23 years, I finally felt her real presence for the very first time! That was the moment I felt so surreal & I felt like tearing for that's the best way to express how I felt. Someone hit the lever & the statue slowly went down into the ground where it lay. I just couldn't bear to see it go when I only just saw it there a while ago...
I woke up. I sat up on my bed & ponder for a while. I felt sad first thing in the morning when I woke up today... but that feeling didn't spoil my day. I can't regret why I don't get to meet that woman in real life. I am still feeling emotional when I think about it now. And I wonder why did I dreamt of her today. It feels like there was a reason why. The woman that I am now writing about... is my grandmother. I have never met my father's parents. My mom told me stories of her... and it is a sad story. Now when I chat with my mom, once in a while it links to my grandparents when we are talking about my dad. I am happy enough to know that my grandparents got to see me before they pass away. I was just a few months old baby. At least I brought them joy when they carried me in their arms although I didn't know anything at that moment. I'm sad to say that I have never visit their grave for tomb sweeping. There was once where dad, mom, brother & sister went but I couldn't go & I couldn't remember why. I really wish to do my part as a grandchild & I shall go next year.
Dear grandma , this is how much I miss you so... :( My heart is always with you & grandpa wherever you are...
Please bless me with a speedy recovery soon.. That's 1 of my 2 wishes now.
She is a woman whom I've never seen with my vision but I believe she has touched me with her 2 hands. I stepped into this huge & well furnished hall with grand interior setting. The first thing I saw was posters hanging on the left side of the hall bearing images of the woman. I knew who she is & I miss her very much. When I walked in further into the hall, I saw that woman in person. I was quite astonished! She was just like an usherer who welcomed us into the hall. I don't know why I didn't go to her but I walked straight into the grand hall instead. When I reached the middle, laying there was a statue. My heart softened when I saw it because after 23 years, I finally felt her real presence for the very first time! That was the moment I felt so surreal & I felt like tearing for that's the best way to express how I felt. Someone hit the lever & the statue slowly went down into the ground where it lay. I just couldn't bear to see it go when I only just saw it there a while ago...
I woke up. I sat up on my bed & ponder for a while. I felt sad first thing in the morning when I woke up today... but that feeling didn't spoil my day. I can't regret why I don't get to meet that woman in real life. I am still feeling emotional when I think about it now. And I wonder why did I dreamt of her today. It feels like there was a reason why. The woman that I am now writing about... is my grandmother. I have never met my father's parents. My mom told me stories of her... and it is a sad story. Now when I chat with my mom, once in a while it links to my grandparents when we are talking about my dad. I am happy enough to know that my grandparents got to see me before they pass away. I was just a few months old baby. At least I brought them joy when they carried me in their arms although I didn't know anything at that moment. I'm sad to say that I have never visit their grave for tomb sweeping. There was once where dad, mom, brother & sister went but I couldn't go & I couldn't remember why. I really wish to do my part as a grandchild & I shall go next year.
Dear grandma , this is how much I miss you so... :( My heart is always with you & grandpa wherever you are...
Please bless me with a speedy recovery soon.. That's 1 of my 2 wishes now.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Quando quando quando ~
Hmmm...MmmMmMmm~ sniffs*
My favourite place to chill out on Sundays is here where now I'm at : Coffee Bean Desa Park City. This is a great place to own a home where it has a relaxing lifestyle ambience with lush greeneries, recreational park, neighbourhood shopping, restaurants, cafe & it gives the American home experience. Some of the houses are built without gate & there's a garage for each family unit to park their cars. I wish I can afford to own a good living environment like this in future. :)
The ohhh soooo nice aroma of coffee is setting my mood on a chirpy note! From the glass windows of Coffee Bean, I can see a group of people doing a PR advertising for Rakuzen restaurant. I think they are just doing some project of their own because there was only a videocam & a mike. Don't look like they are from the media. I wonder are the college students living here having some Mass Comm assignment or what. Last Sunday when I was here, I saw a guy who looked like he's 35 in secondary school uniform! I was like WTH?! Hahahahaha...
I am so tempted for something.. something that I long yearn for & I really need to own it now. I just had this sudden urge, so certain today.
Quando quando quando.. is my biggest wish now. I want to run free again & enjoy the freedom of doing the things I love without worries. 2 more days I'm giving it. With more care that I'm giving & the remedy from my friend's grandfather , please be fine by this week!
My favourite place to chill out on Sundays is here where now I'm at : Coffee Bean Desa Park City. This is a great place to own a home where it has a relaxing lifestyle ambience with lush greeneries, recreational park, neighbourhood shopping, restaurants, cafe & it gives the American home experience. Some of the houses are built without gate & there's a garage for each family unit to park their cars. I wish I can afford to own a good living environment like this in future. :)
The ohhh soooo nice aroma of coffee is setting my mood on a chirpy note! From the glass windows of Coffee Bean, I can see a group of people doing a PR advertising for Rakuzen restaurant. I think they are just doing some project of their own because there was only a videocam & a mike. Don't look like they are from the media. I wonder are the college students living here having some Mass Comm assignment or what. Last Sunday when I was here, I saw a guy who looked like he's 35 in secondary school uniform! I was like WTH?! Hahahahaha...
I am so tempted for something.. something that I long yearn for & I really need to own it now. I just had this sudden urge, so certain today.
Quando quando quando.. is my biggest wish now. I want to run free again & enjoy the freedom of doing the things I love without worries. 2 more days I'm giving it. With more care that I'm giving & the remedy from my friend's grandfather , please be fine by this week!
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